9/11 Survivors Who Called in Sick Part of Conspiracy?

2:02 pm on February 24 2003
By dailyskew
Filed in: Parody
Tagged with: High School, His Royal Highness, King Ashcroft, State Department, World Trade Center, WTC

‘Miraculous Survivors’ of 9-11 Brought In For
Questioning

Many of us have heard the stories of the lucky people who chose not to go into work at the World Trade Center or the Pentagon on September 11th.

Well, some of the ‘call in sick and live’ survivors may not have been so lucky after all, according to His Royal Highness King John Ashcroft.

“We have reason to believe that these people ['call in sick' survivors] had previous knowledge of the impending attacks on September 11th,” stated an indignant King Ashcroft on Wednesday, before a Senate judiciary committee.

“I would not term these despicable people as ‘lucky’. Oh no. I would call them accomplices, traitors, and murderers of the highest order. It was not luck that helped these people did not show up to work on September 11th — it was the cold, hard knowledge of what was to happen that fateful day.”

As the death toll number from the 9-11 attacks goes down, the number of survivors being brought in for questioning has gone up.

“Anyone who survived that day, who worked in those buildings [WTC and Pentagon], is going to be brought in and possibly detained,” stated an insider at the State Department. “If these people thought detention in High School was bad … wait’ll we get through with them.”

The widows of 9-11 are indignant. Wives who became widows on September 11th are raising their voices, calling the King’s actions “unseemly” and “lacking credibility”.

“Who does he think he is?” yelled one widow at a press conference Thursday morning. “Does he really think we’re just going to get in line and march into the gas chamber? Well, he’s got another thing coming!”

King Ashcroft refused to answer the widows of 9-11 directly, only stating cryptically, “Time will tell who was patriotic during these times of great turmoil in America.”

41 Responses to “9/11 Survivors Who Called in Sick Part of Conspiracy?”

2:02 pm on February 24 2003, RNfromKY said:

gua engga tau gua kan orang kampung yang sotoy RT Aduhh lu norak bgt yah.. Dy tuh yang jadi sharpay di high school musicalRT
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Paul Cottle said:

35% of the members of Florida's high school class of 1999 who took calculus in high school earned bachelors' degrees in STEM fields by 2005. 47% of Florida's high school class of 1999 who took calculus in high school earned a bachelor's degree in something by 2005. So most of the bachelors' degrees earned by students who had taken calculus in high school were in STEM fields.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, CNN24 said:

The State Department’s top African affairs official told Uganda’s foreign affairs minister that the Ugandan government needs to act in "a responsible and civil fashion" in response to peaceful protesters.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Rick Nurdamor said:

Behind the wheel: Teen drivers: The state Department of Insurance website lists phone and email contacts for every insurer licensed i…
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, JBodine said:

Empires acquire territory and rule it, America does neither.
Now you are mis-informed on the Role Powell played in the aftermath in Iraq. The civilian governing authority in Iraq was Powell and the State Department's grand idea, worked out real well. If Bush had listened to the DoD instead of the State Department, we would not have had all those deaths. I would just as soon make glass of the whole place.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, max said:

Hope it will be peaceful. But the police might set up roadblocks jamming up the roads. The 3-man board of inquiry, nothing much to be desired. Why not Mr Lim Kit Siang, as head of Opposition. Mr Karpal Singh, senior lawyer and His Royal Highness, Raja Muda of Perak, to head the investigation. The integrity of Mr Lee Lam Thye is zero. The other two are puppets. But anyway, I will be there tomorrow.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, jobs in Illinois - Careerjet said:

RT rel=”nofollow” College friend once asked if lazy had 1 or 2 S’s in it. RT rel=”nofollow” High school kids… Had to explain "sivil war" was spelled with a c.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, marco said:

His Royal Highness ,The Raja of Perlis.He is my most ardent personalities of all personalties.Many years ago when he was Raja Muda,he much frequented Penang and stayed at the hotel with Ku Puan where I worked.I was so amazed His Royal Highness never showed his Ketuanan,he respects people,any people he comes across. And by the way I am a Malaysian chinese,and I was a car jockey at the hotel.His Royal Highness's statement made me cry.I salute you…….Ampun Tuanku!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, helkombi said:

I'm at Starbucks Coffee (38 King Street, Ashcroft Square, Hammersmith)
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, bieberjonaslover1 said:

since the part 1 i knew that nick will fall for demi but i didn't think it would be THAT fast. And plz continue
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Sam Hunter said:

The old high school fight song was set to the tune “Indiana, our Indiana”. It went something like this:

“Greenfield High School, oh Greenfield High School,
Greenfield High School, we're all for you!

We will fight for the black and golden, for the glory of GHS!

Never daunted, we cannot falter, in the battle, we'er tried and true.

Greenfield High School, oh Greenfield High School, Greenfield High School, we're all for you!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, KakashiOfSharingan1 said:

only terriost,who hate america.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, sacredquestions said:

For the last few years, I've just been wishing I could jump ahead five years or at least jump ahead to when I'm in college. I'm just tired of high school: high school immaturities, high school conflicts, high school responsibilities. I feel like an adult, I feel like I'm ready to go live my own life. It's frustrating because, for right now, I'm still stuck being eighteen.
-snapcracklepop
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, mateusbittencourt25 said:

I would love to hear that
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Becky K. said:

I come from a city that is predominately causcasian. Out of the 2,000 people in my high school, less than 100 were African-American. I honestly did not know that school today could still be so segregated. I never experienced this in high school. My high school was for the mostpart completely integrated. Maybe it was the lack of diversity or that fact that we were unaware that school were still to some extent separated, but I never really experienced racial separation throughout my high school years.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, C_H_A_R_M_S said:

The Fremd High School American Studies Ning – fremdamericanstudies.ning.com
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Pinki_L said:

I'm at Starbucks Coffee (38 King Street, Ashcroft Square, Hammersmith)
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, NPR24 said:

New York City is launching a global campaign to celebrate the revival of Lower Manhattan since the 2001 World Trade Center attack. The campaign will launch on June 1. It will include hotel offers and discounts at Lower Manhattan shops, restaurants …
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Up_in_Smoke said:

Conferinta Internationala PMday / Bucuresti, 27 Mai 2011, Hotel Pullman Bucharest World Trade Center: Asociatia …
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, 1dutchgrl said:

Watched this last night. Excellent film. I hope to buy it when it becomes available. It is as powerful as Food, Inc. The United States needs to stop in their tracks and make the changes!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, GuardianUK said:

The Golden State will welcome His Royal Highness the Prince Consort Henrik of Denmark in June.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Sharon Cones said:

I see your points. I

I am not alleging that the US govt masterminded an ouster … merely asserting that this story line is an important one. If the state department had ANY involvement whatsoever it needs to be reported on. Involvement can take many forms …

Also – The State Department is listed on the AFY website as a sponsor. Scroll all the way down on the page and there it is … the State Department Seal. Not sure if that means they are sending money, support etc ….
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, FindlaySucks said:

My neighbor pissed me off the other day…I almost hit him in the mouth….but, then I thought, “no, I don't want to go to jail for assault.” SO, instead I strapped him down to my picnic table, grabbed my garden hose, and proceeded to water board him…this went on for over an hour….I felt so much better afterwards, and he even told me where he put my hammer that he borrowed a month ago.
I am so glad that there are these legal options available for people to settle their differences!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Brian from Scottsdale, AZ said:

I have a Sasieni second, “His Royal Highness”. What I can't figure out is that on the other side of the shank it is stamped Rum Cured & then Made in England (football) & number 538 N. The stem has to be a replacement since it is marbalized colored almost matching the grain of the pipe & has 2 large yellow dots on the top of the stem. Besides that, the last 's' in Highness is cut off where the stem meets the shank & there is no ” as there is before the word His. Any idea how old it is?
Appreciate any info you have….
Brian
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, Twitter said:

RT rel=”nofollow” New World Trade Center enhanced with reinforced concrete core

2:02 pm on February 24 2003, TheRealSyn said:

RT Buying stuff for his royal highness prince hairy.I better get it right cos he's threatening to fire me as his butler.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, 外遇問題 said:

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many useful stuff in your website especially its discussion, From the a lot of comments on your articles; I guess Im not the only one receiving the many satisfaction right here! keep up a good job!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, rudyh said:

An older quote…….

“I feel this way about it. World trade means world peace and consequently the World Trade Center buildings in New York … had a bigger purpose than just to provide room for tenants. The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man's dedication to world peace … beyond the compelling need to make this a monument to world peace, the World Trade Center should, because of its importance, become a representation of man's belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in the cooperation of men, and through cooperation, his ability to find greatness.”

–Minoru Yamasaki, chief architect of the World Trade Center.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, rudyh said:

An older quote…….

“I feel this way about it. World trade means world peace and consequently the World Trade Center buildings in New York … had a bigger purpose than just to provide room for tenants. The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man's dedication to world peace … beyond the compelling need to make this a monument to world peace, the World Trade Center should, because of its importance, become a representation of man's belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in the cooperation of men, and through cooperation, his ability to find greatness.”

–Minoru Yamasaki, chief architect of the World Trade Center.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, dailyskew said:

Welcome to the DailySkew!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, TheBaddestChica said:

where can i watch the movie??
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, NoProblemaBlog said:

emm i might watch sometime if its on t.v
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, PharmaSi said:

RT Department of Commerce calls out Maine and the Three Ring Binder as best in the nation for business friendly telecom
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, migol1984 said:

I love the excuse… “because they don't want ignorant insulting comments on their video from atheist trolls”

Yet every atheist, evolution and science video… heck even the astronomy videos are chuck full of ignorant insulting theist trolls. Virtually NONE block comments.

The only reason they are theists is because they refuse to hear the arguments. Blocking comments is natural for them.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, bdanniexO said:

his wife is ugly as fuck
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, yoonArchie said:

#youneedtositdown if you in high school & have more then one child & they are NOT twins
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, rudyh said:

An older quote…….

“I feel this way about it. World trade means world peace and consequently the World Trade Center buildings in New York … had a bigger purpose than just to provide room for tenants. The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man's dedication to world peace … beyond the compelling need to make this a monument to world peace, the World Trade Center should, because of its importance, become a representation of man's belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in the cooperation of men, and through cooperation, his ability to find greatness.”

–Minoru Yamasaki, chief architect of the World Trade Center.
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, RayTechnical said:

Burmese Diplomat Defects to US: Appeals to US State Department for political asylum
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, thebigfly124 said:

Funny thing is if you look at the movie sport and also the game tenchu among others the basic plot is a virus that is spread to profit the elite!
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, AMK_Rembau said:

ChoiiiiiRT His Royal Highness The Emir of Kano Ado Bayero. This man is a Legend. Has been Emir Since 1963. #Respect
2:02 pm on February 24 2003, 9/11 DailySkew Tribute | The Original DailySkew said:

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